We had sex this morning but I just felt like I wanted to cry. I don’t feel like a proper woman anymore. I’m still trying to get my head around how this could have happened so quickly. What I can’t understand is where were all the symptoms?? The mood swings? Hot flushes? Admittedly I had terrible night sweats a few years ago where I’d wake up soaking wet and have to change my pyjamas in the middle of the night, but I was going through a very stressful divorce at the time so put it down to that. And I’ve literally just started having bad hot flushes over the last couple of weeks. It feels like it has all just happened at the flick of a switch, when I thought perimenopause was supposed to last for years. But maybe the night sweats back then were the start of it and I was so consumed with the divorce and getting my life back on track, I missed it. I was definitely still having periods though. I know some women go through menopause a lot earlier than I have, and I can’t imagine what it must feel like being given that diagnosis in your 20s or 30s, but this is still 10 years too soon. The consultant has recommended I go on HRT straight away as she said your body can’t go an extra 10 years without the hormones you don’t have after menopause, which makes me feel like I’m just shrivelling up inside. And even if we decide to go for egg donation, will my menopausal uterus be able to hold a baby? The consultant said that everything else internally looks good so there is no reason why I wouldn’t be able to carry a child, but I still feel like less of a woman. It’s going to take some time to get my head around this.