A few months ago I started feeling really on edge. Like I couldn’t cope. My toddler was pushing all my buttons and I felt like I used to be able to stay pretty calm about it (obviously not all the time but mostly). But I was starting to feel like I was going to explode when she was being defiant and wouldn’t listen for the 100th time and then the rest of the time I just felt a bit…. meh. But because of just coming out of the new baby phase with our 2nd and still not having full nights sleep, plus going back on HRT and my body (hopefully) trying to rebalance with the menopause now the baby stuff was over, I wasn’t sure if it was my hormones making me feel like that or if this was just me now. I felt like I was now paying for everything my body’s been through over the last 5yrs with the menopause diagnosis, egg donation treatment, pregnancies and post pregnancy and I didn’t really like the person I was, if not becoming, at least behaving like. I didn’t want to feel exhausted even after a half decent nights sleep with constant low-level anxiety which could kick up a notch at any moment and not be able to control when I felt like flipping out. I know it’s bound to happen occasionally to everyone, especially when kids are involved but I felt like I didn’t have a handle on it and I didn’t want it to become the norm.

So I booked a video appointment with one of the doctors at Menopause Care (@drmenopausecare). And boy am I glad I did! After having a good chat about my story and symptoms and looking at some recent blood results I’d had done with my GP, Dr Corinne (@meno_pause_doctor) said my oestrogen levels were low, even though I’m on the standard 2 pumps a day of oestrogen gel and my levels were within the range that is classed as ‘normal’. And my testosterone level was pretty much none existent. Both of which could have huge effects on mood, anxiety levels, basically everything I’d explained to her. It was such an open, understanding and insightful chat, I immediately felt like I was finally getting some tailored advice to my own menopause situation rather than the one size fits all prescription I’d got from the GP (I’m not digging out my GP here as I understand they can’t be experts in every field of practise). Dr Corinne suggested I up my oestrogen pumps gradually to 4 and then add testosterone which I needed to get as a private prescription from her as the NHS don’t prescribe it. I’ve been on the 4 pumps now for nearly 2 months and the testosterone for 1, and have to say I do feel better. The constant exhaustion has definitely lessened (I’m still tired first thing, but that’s to be expected when the little one is still waking in the early hrs, but I’m fine once I get going and it’s not to the point where sitting on the sofa is all I really want to do) and I just feel like I’ve got a bit more get up and go back.

I’ll give it a few more months and report back, as I know these adjustments take time to settle in. But, I’d definitely say if you’re feeling like you’re not yourself and going through the menopause, definitely seek some advise. It could make all the difference to how you’re feeling.