I’ve been away for a few days with my sister and best friend as a bit of a hen do before I get married next month. I have had THE best time, just talking and going to the beach, visiting different towns, shopping, eating and drinking delicious food and wine. It’s been a real tonic. But waiting for the ferry to take us back to the mainland for the flight this morning, I suddenly broke down and got really upset. It just hit me. I didn’t want to go home and have to deal with everything that’s been going on over the past months. Even though we talked about it on holiday, it’s been amazing to be able to park it and not have to think about it – I didn’t realise how much it had been consuming me. And now going home, I’ll have to start dealing with it all again. I really can’t wait for our wedding next month, but there’s still a lot to organise, even though we are having things as simple as possible and the venue is sorting a lot of things out. And then all the decisions to make around the egg donation. When should we do it? How are we going to fit everything in? I desperately want to crack on with the treatment, but I also don’t want to jeopardise it by rushing it, or not being relaxed for it. Mr M and I both agree that we definitely want a honeymoon before we start as (hopefully) one last time away together on our own. And then my work always gets ridiculously hectic later on in the year, so should we wait til after that so I’m not stressed? All the questions and decisions and the list of things to do came flooding back on the flight back home and I felt totally overwhelmed. It made me realise how much pressure I’ve been under the last few months. I’m a coper I think, but right now I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with everything at all.